Floral Tumblr Themes
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whoviannerdfighter:

my mom was carrying her ipad and a piece of pizza but she stumbled and dropped her ipad on the floor but held tight to her pizza and i’m so glad i know where my priorities come from

wanchorss:

in4viate:

i have the sex appeal of a walrus.

imagemm gurl 

nippletowns:

when someone suprises you with a picture and you actually look good

image

wearingly:

I find it crazy how any of us can die at any moment yet we live our lives always planning for the future

kahomo:

when ur absent from school and you ask the teacher to explain something and they just say ‘well you should have been here’

image


my mom:  it's 11 go to sleep
me:  actually its 10:58

Parent:  what does a cow say?
Baby:  "moo!"
Parent:  yes! And what does a sheep say?
Baby:  "baah!"
Parent:  yay! And what does a pig say?
Baby:  *whistles* "damn babygirl u a fine piece'a ass wanna hop n my car n ill drive ya to pound town!!"

bagmilk:

why do people say “yassssssssssssssssssss”

it’s fucking “yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssss” you’re not a snake

africandad:

do people even throw parties at my school or do i just never get invited

timid:

youngvlcanoes:

MY FRIEND KEEPS USING COMMAS RANDOMLY IN THE MIDDLE OF SENTENCES AND IT IS ALWAYS INCORRECT AND I AM SO ANGRY THIS IS LIKE BASIC GRAMMAR

they’re, dumb???